Said no mother; ever.
But last night, I came close. I have been suffering from acute parental burnout and general tiredness lately and the demands of mothering and home-keeping have been telling on my physical well-being.
I went to bed wondering, once again, how (and if) I was going to be able to get out of my bed and do life as “mum” all over again the next day.
Lately I’ve been having many nights like this. Nights where I am so tired and achy so much that I have been close to tears, asking myself; “Why am I so tired”?!
Well, I have spent the past ten years as a mum with little to no support system (apart from my amazing husband) so I guess it’s only fair for my body to fight back and say “Enough is enough, lady. Take a load off!”
It’s been ten years of ache, bake, bend, mend, hold, scold, hug, kiss, frown, smile, stand, run, bathe, brush, pack, teach, learn, nurse, burp, wash, wipe, mop, cook, sweep, scrub, worry, cheer, pat, push, pull, load, unload, cry, laugh, love, cuddle….
Non-stop, no days-off.
Of course I’m burnt out! I’m a human, not a robot. Although, I did say jokingly to my husband a while back that I needed a clone of myself. I need someone/something that can do what I do, the way that I do it. (Maybe that’s my problem actually 🤔) More on that later, in shaa Allah
Anyway, since Elon Musk hasn’t created the iRobot yet, I better find a solution to my problem because life is not slowing down and these humans in my care won’t stop growing.
Where else would a Muslimah go to find the solution to her problems? One that’s guaranteed to be better than any technological invention? The Qur’aan and Sunnah, of course!
Narrated by Ali ibn Abi Taalib:
Faatimah came to (her father) the Prophet (sallallahu alayhi wa salam), asking for a servant (due to her hands becoming calloused from the demands of home-keeping)
The Prophet said to her: “Shall I not teach you something that is better than what you asked for? When you go to bed at night, say Subhaanallah, Alhamdulillah, Allahu Akbar; 34, 33 and 33 times respectively. That is better for you than a servantBukhari and Muslim
So as I lay in my bed, weary from a day filled with parental demands and a night that promises to be full of nursing and caring for a teething infant, I recite these adhkaar (words of remembrance of Allah) prescribed by a loving father to his beloved daughter.
أَلاَ بِذِكْرِ اللّهِ تَطْمَئِنُّ الْقُلُوبُ- Verily, in the Remembrance of Allah do hearts find restSurah Ar-Ra’d Verse 28
If you’re a Muslim woman suffering from parental burnout, or even just the demands of Adult-ing in general, try this adhkaar with mindfullness and certainty. It works!
And, If you have tried this before, or you feel what I am feeling, then share your experience with me in the comments below. I’d love to hear from you!
P.S : The point of this post is not to discount employing maids/servants or any form of help if it is needed. I’d take it if anyone’s offering 😀. The point of it is to provide some immediate, cost-free succour to anyone suffering from parental burn-out. 🧡