Said no mother; ever.
But last night, I came close. I have been suffering from acute parental burnout and general tiredness lately and the demands of mothering and home-keeping have been telling on my physical well-being.
I went to bed wondering, once again, how (and if) I was going to be able to get out of my bed and do life as “mum” all over again the next day.
Lately I’ve been having many nights like this. Nights where I am so tired and achy so much that I have been close to tears, asking myself; “Why am I so tired”?!
Well, I have spent the past ten years as a mum with little to no support system (apart from my amazing husband) so I guess it’s only fair for my body to fight back and say “Enough is enough, lady. Take a load off!”
It’s been ten years of ache, bake, bend, mend, hold, scold, hug, kiss, frown, smile, stand, run, bathe, brush, pack, teach, learn, nurse, burp, wash, wipe, mop, cook, sweep, scrub, worry, cheer, pat, push, pull, load, unload, cry, laugh, love, cuddle….
Non-stop, no days-off.
Of course I’m burnt out! I’m a human, not a robot. Although, I did say jokingly to my husband a while back that I needed a clone of myself. I need someone/something that can do what I do, the way that I do it. (Maybe that’s my problem actually 🤔) More on that later, in shaa Allah
Anyway, since Elon Musk hasn’t created the iRobot yet, I better find a solution to my problem because life is not slowing down and these humans in my care won’t stop growing.
Where else would a Muslimah go to find the solution to her problems? One that’s guaranteed to be better than any technological invention? The Qur’aan and Sunnah, of course!
Narrated by Ali ibn Abi Taalib:
Faatimah came to (her father) the Prophet (sallallahu alayhi wa salam), asking for a servant (due to her hands becoming calloused from the demands of home-keeping)
The Prophet said to her: “Shall I not teach you something that is better than what you asked for? When you go to bed at night, say Subhaanallah, Alhamdulillah, Allahu Akbar; 34, 33 and 33 times respectively. That is better for you than a servantBukhari and Muslim
So as I lay in my bed, weary from a day filled with parental demands and a night that promises to be full of nursing and caring for a teething infant, I recite these adhkaar (words of remembrance of Allah) prescribed by a loving father to his beloved daughter.
أَلاَ بِذِكْرِ اللّهِ تَطْمَئِنُّ الْقُلُوبُ- Verily, in the Remembrance of Allah do hearts find restSurah Ar-Ra’d Verse 28
If you’re a Muslim woman suffering from parental burnout, or even just the demands of Adult-ing in general, try this adhkaar with mindfullness and certainty. It works!
And, If you have tried this before, or you feel what I am feeling, then share your experience with me in the comments below. I’d love to hear from you!
P.S : The point of this post is not to discount employing maids/servants or any form of help if it is needed. I’d take it if anyone’s offering 😀. The point of it is to provide some immediate, cost-free succour to anyone suffering from parental burn-out. 🧡
Loved this. Needed it. May Allah strengthen us all, mothers soldering forward everyday.
How are you?
Aamin! I am doing good my dear sis🧡. You?
My love and tasleem to you and your family xx
Fowoke baby 🥰 thou I usually do the adhkar on the level of remembrance but for parenting purpose no but with this beautiful write up I will try and imbibe it insha Allah. Guess you’re good I missed you💜
Sakeenah baby 🥰 I’m doing good alhamdulillah. I missed you too. Bawo ni? May Allah make it easy sis xx 🧡
Subhanallah this dhikr absolutely works.. put your mind to it and you begin to feel some sort of elevation/rejuvenation, knowing your Lord “has got you”.
Thanks for sharing sissy love. Been a while I dropped a comment.
Indeed! I felt strengthened as well when I was doing the Dhikr. الله اكبر
Yes it has been a while ☺️ thanks for leaving me a comment! xx
Jazakillah khair sister for this piece, Alhamdulillah I’ve been doing this zhikr but My husband also told me that Whenever I feel this parenting burnout, I should always remember that i am doing it as a form of ibadah and sadaqah as well and this piece of words always motivates and keeps me going .may Allah see us through, ameen ya rabbi
Aamin wa iyyak sis. May Allah make it easy. Do try to take little bits of time-out for yourself wherever you can. little things like a long bath, a foot soak, a solitary walk, listening to the Qur’aan etc. can help with relieving the burnout. sending you lots of love xx
Aamin! Thank you 🙏🏾
JazakAllah for this… I really need it today! Mom burnout is so real! May Allah Ta’ala make everything easy for you 💕💕
Amin! Thank you xx and you too sis 🧡
Jazakillah kaeran uhkti
This just made my day. I have been struggling with parental burnout. I do this Ashkar actually but I think I should put my mind it it.
Aamin wa iyyak 🧡 yes sis try and do it mindfully, acknowledging that there is no power or might except from and with Allah. He will not leave you disappointed! 🧡